Did something feel off to you when you watched Michael Jackson’s memorial service? No, not Mariah Carey’s singing. No, not the fact Mariah Carey was even there. Dig deeper… Anything?
Michael Jackson lay in his golden casket at his memorial service without his brain. The Los Angeles coroner confirmed yesterday that the organ was retained to carry out tests.
The death certificate, which was signed by Jackson’s sister La Toya, lists the cause of death as deferred.
“As soon as we are done with the brain, we will return it,” Ed Winter, the assistant chief coroner, said. “The last I heard, they are not burying the body yet.”
Yep. No brain. Normally I would question why the fuck this was even news worthy. I mean, what’s next? Hold on…
I’m now getting reports that Michael Jackson had a mole on his lower thigh, and… Yes. Yes, it’s the left thigh. Holy shit. Sources are now confirming that he had a pimple on his nut sack. This is all unconfirmed, but it looks like he did in fact have a pimple on his man satchel.
This brain thing must be news worthy, because it was on The Daily Beast’s cheat sheet. I’m not gonna argue with an Internet news compilation, named for an obscure literary reference, designed to make you feel like shit, because apparently the ads on porn sites aren’t really “reading.”
That’s why we kept the name simple. You’re welcome, folks.
July 9, 2009 at 12:44 pm |
Oh brother.